Agreed. Discussions of what is "customary" on my part have had to do with attempts to aligning the current hybrid mechanism with what are customarily, psychologically, and actually two separate, distinct mechanisms and functions: "reply" to a forum post and "PM" and individual. I have mostly resigned myself to the fact that Groups.io will not make them totally separate and they will continue to coexist as (supposedly) one function. So I am trying to explain that psychologically, we as humans think of them as two separate things, and the decision of which one (meaning: reply to individual, or reply to group - using the current language) is ALWAYS made first. We don't compose a general message and then thinks, "Hmmmm, should I send this to a certain person or to everyone?" No. If we're planning to send a private reply, we say to ourselves, "I'm going to message X privately, and tell him certain things that want only him to hear." That is a separate action, a completely separate mindset.
But I fear these are never going to be separated to the extent I personally (and I think, you also?) think they should be (I'm not talking about physically separated - the UI comes later - I'm talking about the architecture), so I'm trying to come up with something that satisfies people's desires for pretending that they're the same.
The other issue that always comes up in this discussion is the fact that in Groups.io, as in Y!G before it, a group might have "reply to sender" as its default. That needs to be taken into account. But it should be a triviality to do that while still honoring the fact that the two actions (reply to group vs PM) are really distinct.
Messages are the sole opinion of the author.
It's dumb to buy smart water.