Why can't this be done not just when someone edits a message, but also when they what to reject the message
That's what I've suggested. You can do that with a pending member (you hit the "claim" button). The suggestion is that there should be a similar feature for pending messages. There would still be an issue with moderator actions via email. But it seems that there should be some finagling possible to accomplish the claiming via email as well.
-- J
Messages are the sole opinion of the author, especially the fishy ones. My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together. - Desmond Tutu